Poem: Moll Flanders, Zia Louisa, and Me

Moll Flanders, Zia Louisa, and Me

Ah, Moll Flanders, of all the characters  
in those novels I read when I was still young and in grad school,
it's you I remember, 
flamboyant, sensual, in love with life.
You always looked for the “Main Chance”
and I, who can barely remember a name
five minutes after I hear it, remember yours.
I knew you were self-serving, but I loved 
that you never lied about it, 
that you never made excuses, 
and I imagine you trying to make your way 
in 17th Century England, where a woman on her own
would have been vulnerable, a victim.
You remind me of my Zia Louisa,
that woman who married four times, 
who wore a tan-colored corset with lace stays 
that had to be pulled tight to hold in 
her large breasts and belly, 
who loved to dance the Tarantella, 
her whole body exhilarating 
in moving and stomping.
And though I know Moll only through a male writer’s portrayal, 
I know Zia Louisa from my childhood, 
watched her move
like an armored vehicle through life, 
past three dead husbands and onto a fourth, 
handsome, elegant Zio Guillermo.
They lived in the small apartment above us 
on 17th Street in Paterson, NJ.  
My mother told me that in the night she’d hear 
Zia Louisa crying, but in the morning 
she’d come down the back steps, 
her cotton dress stiff with starch, 
her lace handkerchief tucked in her sleeve, 
and she’d be smiling and laughing.
She never told my mother 
what sorrow she carried hidden in her sleeve.
The world does not need to know; 
it only wants to pretend nothing is wrong, 
and you are mistaken
if you think you heard wild sobbing 
in the night.  

by Maria Mazziotti Gillan
from her poetry collection, When the Stars Were Still Visible

Is this poem based on a true experience? If so, how did learning this about your aunt impact you?

Yes, the Moll Flanders poem is based on a true experience.  My aunt and uncle lived upstairs from us on 17th St. in Paterson, New Jersey. My aunt always put on a brave face. She was so full of life and laughter, but part of that was a smokescreen to hide what was really going on in her life. 

Knowing that made me realize that so much is hidden in our lives because we are afraid to let other people know about our suffering. In fact, if people really want to know about the good that poetry does for us, it is that poems allow us to peel away the layers that we use to protect ourselves, the masks we wear because we’re afraid. I learned from my poems how painful it is to keep so much hidden.

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Maria Mazziotti Gillan's newest poetry collection is When the Stars Were Still Visible (2021). Other recent publications are the poetry and photography collection, Paterson Light and Shadow, and the poetry collections What Blooms in Winter and The Girls in the Chartreuse Jackets, a pairing of her poems with her paintings.
Maria's artist website is MariaMazziottiGillan.com and her poetry website is MariaGillan.com.